Being new in a country? I was there, three times

I first moved to a new country when I was 18 – moving away from a cozy home in Belgrade, Serbia, to a fast-paced and loud Israeli life. Being alone and clueless about what is required to live independently in a new country, was a struggle. All I was told about what life looks like and what we’re expected to do to succeed, was useless. It takes time (in years) to start feeling comfortable in a new place.

The second time I moved to a new country was with a partner. Moving together to Berlin, Germany, had its good moments – responsibilities were shared, and there was someone to share the observations, differences, and learnings. On the other hand, it brought unpredictable problems. We, as individuals in a relationship, were changing during the integration process. This put unusual stress on the relationship, and the relationship was expected to integrate and adapt to new circumstances, too.

Recently, I decided to give up on the comfortable Berlin lifestyle that I’ve built, and moved to sunny Lisbon, Portugal, where I started from scratch, again. And again, multiple challenges overlapped – finding a home, creating a network of friends, searching for a job, and solving administrative issues. Regardless of what kind of life you’re coming from, having to deal with all the existential challenges simultaneously can feel like losing the ground under your feet.

Pain is inevitable; suffering is optional

Looking back, I believe those first few years could have been more fun and enjoyable if someone had understood my situation – someone who could relate to the overwhelming amount of topics and help me prioritize and support me to overcome the situations and challenges.

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